Don Jr. Sends Letter To RNC Begging To Have Likeness Used For Fundraising

PALM BEACH GARDENS, FL—Demanding the organization start at once, Donald Trump Jr. reportedly sent a letter Wednesday begging the Republican National Committee to use his likeness in fundraising materials. “You’re free to use my image as my times as you like in any medium as long as it’s front and center—in fact, I’ve enclosed some good shots right here,” read the letter, which included a variety of glossy 8-by-10-inch photographs for committee officials to consider along with a USB flash drive containing a highlight reel of the former first son speaking at various events. “The one of me on the tree stump is my favorite, but all of the close-ups are pretty cool too. I don’t have anything with my dad though, so I hope that’s okay. Please? Pretty please? Oh yeah, and can you link to my social media too?” At press time, Donald Trump Jr. was excitedly refreshing the RNC’s homepage waiting for his picture to appear.