Doctors Alarmed After Early Tests Suggest That Pregnant Woman Black

DURHAM, NC—Appearing saddened as they explained it was a congenital defect and there was almost nothing they could do, doctors at Duke University Hospital expressed alarm Monday after early tests suggested that a pregnant woman was Black. “We are so sorry, and we understand this is absolutely not the news you wanted to hear, but our initial prenatal screening indicates that you are an African American woman,” said obstetrician Dr. David Pastor, adding that while the results were not necessarily fatal, they did indicate that the chances of the mother surviving both the pregnancy and childbirth were slim to none. “Now, I’m not going to mince words. This condition is very serious, and a real danger to both you and your baby throughout the first, second, and third trimester. But if we work quickly and find the right specialists, there’s a chance we could at least make your last few months on earth as painless for you as possible.” After a second round of tests, the doctors reportedly began to panic after they found that the pregnant woman’s income was not in the top 10% of Americans.