Dildo Manufacturers Association: Nation Must Return To Normalcy, Purchase Dildos

CINCINNATI—With sales flagging since the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, the Dildo Manufacturers Association made an appeal to Americans’ sense of patriotism Monday, urging citizens to help the U.S. economy and the nation’s dildo industry by purchasing the sex toys. “Like so many industries, we have been hit hard by recent events,” DMA spokesman Richard Grantham said. “But the best way we can show Osama bin Laden our resolve is for all of us to get back out there and buy dildos like we did before all of this happened.” Grantham said that on Oct. 20, a 14-inch, red-white-and-blue “Star Spangled Rammer” dildo will go on sale at sex shops across the nation, with proceeds benefiting relief efforts.