As the coronavirus pandemic continues to cause widespread disruptions, many have noticed that the country’s stock market and economic situation, which would ostensibly reflect each other, seem to reflect entirely different situations. The Onion looks at the differences between the stock market and the economy.
Reason For Existence: Stock Market
To help rich get richer
Reason For Existence: Economy
To help poor get poorer
Basic Function: Stock Market
Where the cabal trades and sells adrenochrome
Basic Function: Economy
Where children are bought, sold, and harvested for the production of adrenochrome
Iconic Image: Stock Market
Charging Bull sculpture
Iconic Image: Economy
Dad sitting sadly in garage
Effect On Retirement: Stock Market
Provides investment opportunities for millions of Americans’ retirements
Effect On Retirement: Economy
Provides jobs for millions of Americans who thought they’d be retired by now
Best Way To Visualize: Stock Market
Line graph with bunch of random ups and downs
Best Way To Visualize: Economy
Pie chart with bunch of random slices
Possibility Of Trickling Down: Stock Market
No
Possibility Of Trickling Down: Economy
No, but for argument’s sake, let’s say yes
Dependence On Bells: Stock Market
Totally dependent on bells
Dependence On Bells: Economy
Not dependent on bells
Overvalued Metric That Obfuscates Financial Realities: Stock Market
Yes
Overvalued Metric That Obfuscates Financial Realities: Economy
Mostly
