This week, Donald Trump unveiled his plan for addressing immigration as president, a series of core principles that specify his heretofore generalized statements about America’s relationship with immigrants. Here are the items detailed in Trump’s outline:
Construction of world-class border wall featuring hundreds of miles of sand traps and water hazards
Improved visa application will require immigrants to declare if they are rapist thugs
Creates robust Border Beauties division of Immigration and Customs Enforcement
Concierge and personal valet service across border for Mexicans with net worth of over $5 million
Clause allowing Trump to deport any current American citizens he deems pathetic and classless as well
U.S. citizenship application process to require recommendation letters from current notable U.S. citizens
Establishes long-term, forward-looking plan to find new nationality to scapegoat for America’s problems by 2035
Admission that U.S. economy will suffer quite a bit