LOS ANGELES—Awestruck bystanders at a violent police altercation Thursday reported that one local cop looked like John Wick out there with those unarmed kids. “That cop was like, bam! bam! bam! Just one perfect headshot after another,” one onlooker said as fellow passersby standing amid the dead bodies of innocent teenagers agreed that they hadn’t seen somebody mow down their enemies with such calm and precision since the nightclub scene in John Wick: Chapter 4. “You could practically hear the rock music pumping in the background. He’d just turn the corner and silently double-tap the next unarmed kid. Cool as a cucumber, too, just like Baba Yaga himself. Sometimes he wouldn’t even look when he shot one of them. What a total fucking badass.” Amazed sources confirmed that after executing the defenseless minors at point-blank range, the real-life John Wick adjusted his shirt cuffs and walked into the complete immunity of the police station like an absolute legend.
Cop Looked Like John Wick Out There With Those Unarmed Kids
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