Cool New Lakers Coach Doesn't Make Team Play Defense

LOS ANGELES—The mood in the Los Angeles Lakers’ locker room was upbeat this morning as players were reportedly enthusiastic about new head coach Mike D’Antoni’s policy of never forcing them to play any defense whatsoever. “Man, this new guy is awesome about letting us do whatever we like when we don’t have the ball,” said Lakers forward Pau Gasol, who predicted that defending in transition would be much more fun now that he doesn’t have to hustle or guard anyone. “Our old coach always lectured us about boring stuff like closing out on the ball and challenging shots, but new Mike doesn’t care about any of that. He’s the best.” Gasol added that he hoped D’Antoni wouldn’t turn out to be too much of a hardass about requiring the team to win a lot of games this year.