As the warmer weather approaches, many people will open their houses to larger dinner parties. Here are some ways to take the sting out of cooking for a large group of people:
Nobody likes to be left out, so before you entertain outdoors, make sure to contact all your neighbors and tell them a big flood’s coming and the neighborhood is being evacuated
Hail a passing taco truck
Salads are a quick and easy dish if you don’t give a shit about your guests
Put out a tub of wine and a shitload of straws
Take time to imagine having sex with everyone at your party: When guests arrive, have sex with them for real, and afterward, enjoy a silent dinner
Because of their religious beliefs, some guests may not eat certain foods; be sure to call them beforehand and remind them God does not exist
Most pies are apple
Only let the first five guests who show up eat
Make the food taste real good; people like that
Why not try crumbling a few bowel-suppressant caplets into the meal so that those monsters don’t clog up your toiletthis time?
Choose one color of food and stick with it
