Coach Unveils Petite Handbag For Holding Fingernails, Skin Flakes, And Other Loose Detritus You Pull Off Your Body

NEW YORK—Touting the new accessory as an essential addition to any modern wardrobe, the luxury brand Coach unveiled a new petite handbag Tuesday for holding fingernails, skin flakes, and other loose detritus you pull off your body. “The latest version of our Hayden Crossbody Clutch serves as a stylish yet convenient receptacle in which to place all the stray hairs, calluses, and large scaly patches you yank or scrape from your skin,” said Stuart Vevers, creative director of the American design house, explaining that the small purse, which is crafted from polished pebble leather and retails for $175, provides an elegant solution for when you peel a scab or lance a blister and don’t know what to do with the resulting discharge and debris. “Whether it’s common acne, a cyst, or some other sort of membranous pustule, our gorgeous new bag holds all your discarded biological tissues—liquid and solid—when you’re on the go. That thickening, undiagnosed growth on your back has to fall off eventually, and when it does, you’re going to want somewhere to put it.” Vevers went on to mention that Coach would also be releasing a larger, tote-sized version of the bag for all the heavy shedders out there.