Chuck Grassley Facing Toughest Election Challenge Since Reconstruction

DES MOINES, IA—With polls showing him just three points ahead of Democratic challenger Mike Franken, Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) appeared to be facing his toughest reelection bid since Reconstruction, top political observers confirmed Monday. “Not since his tight race against Greenback Party candidate Thaddeus Obadiah Deadmore in 1874 has Grassley faced such stiff competition to retain his seat,” said Iowa-based pollster J. Ann Selzer, explaining how the 37-term senator was forced to moderate his stance on returning to the gold standard in order to defeat Deadmore, who firmly opposed bullion-based currency and the resumption of specie payments. “In 1910, Grassley’s 14-hour filibuster against the Mann Act, which outlawed the trafficking of prostitutes, cost him dearly at the polls, but he remained Iowa’s senior senator. And this year, as long as voters look past his historic ties to railroad tycoons, he should be able to eke out a win.” At press time, Grassley’s campaign was reportedly in crisis mode after the senator’s youthful comments praising King George III came to light.