Chess App Allows Man To Waste Time On Phone But In Smart Way

BOSTON—Describing how the phone game had succeeded where others had failed, local man Peter Bolton told reporters Friday that the app Chess Ace allowed him to waste time on his phone but in a smart way. “It’s great, because instead of opening up some dumb app like Clash Of Clans, I now have a higher-brow option when it comes to putting off work, zoning out on the subway, or just killing a couple of hours in the evenings before bed,” said Bolton, explaining that he loved how using the application to learn the intricacies of chess let him fritter away the precious, irreplaceable moments of his finite existence in a slightly brainier manner. “I used to feel self-conscious when coworkers saw me playing Candy Crush Saga. But when they see me loading up a round of chess, they know I’m a guy who has taste and sophistication when it comes to his choice of fundamentally worthless pursuits. That’s always nice.” At press time, sources confirmed Bolton was promoted on the spot after his boss saw him putting his computer opponent’s piece in check during a morning meeting.