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CDC Reports Surge In Sexually Transmitted Disease

For the fourth consecutive year, federal health officials said that new cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis spiked in 2017, rising by nearly 10 percent due to changing sexual habits and a lack of public awareness. What do you think?

Theodore McCormick • Nutria Breeder

“Say what you will about the current pol

Theodore McCormick • Nutria Breeder

Hannah Russo • Clapboard Handler

“Can we at least celebrate the fact that Americans are creating something?”

Hannah Russo • Clapboard Handler

Abraham Munro • Bayou-Swamp Distinguisher

“This is nothing a few more decades of abstinence-only sex education won’t fix.”

Abraham Munro • Bayou-Swamp Distinguisher




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper