Carlos Lee Befriends Anthill In Left Field

HOUSTON—Upon discovering an anthill in left field during Saturday’s game against the Nationals, Astros Carlos Lee reportedly befriended the colony of red ants by introducing himself to each of the insects individually. “My little ant friends are so nice and they don’t get mad at me when I come over and talk to them like Hunter Pence does,” said Lee, who reportedly placed his head on the ground next to then anthill to appear less intimidating to the ants. “They’re my best little buddies in the whole world. They tickle the inside of my nose and give me stingy kisses.” Lee held a candlelight memorial after the game to honor the thousands of ants that were tragically killed when he crushed the anthill while fielding a fly ball.