Titty Pillow vs. Insect-Zapping Epzo Hat
Titty Pillow
Being well-endowed is a double-edged sword. Filling out a nice blouse is one thing, but turning in for a restful night of side-sleep gets complicated when the girls meet gravity. Introducing the Titty Pillow, a between-breast cushion that both maximizes comfort and reduces décolletage wrinkles. Simply wedge this plush little pod ’twixt your torso boulders and say “ta-ta!” to ta-ta discomfort.
Insect-Zapping Epzo Hat
Got an infestation that can’t be squashed by traditional methods like swatting, spritzing, or screaming? Try The Epzo Hat! The bug bite-preventing chapeau features yellow LED lights under the brim, which emits audio wavelengths imperceptible to insects. And since bugs can’t be attracted to something they can’t even see, just duck under The Epzo Hat, and you’re golden.
Answer below to see how other Onion readers guessed. Then advance to the next slide to reveal the answer.
https://strawpoll.com/embed/Qrgebq9vbZp
Brought to you by Snake Oil on FOX.
