Flatulence-Blocking Bedclothes vs. Totable Anti-Theft Scarecrow
Flatulence-Blocking Bedclothes
Nothing quiets the pillow talk like a Dutch oven stinker. At the same time, trapping all that gas inside isn’t healthy for any couples’ colons. Enter: the “better marriage blanket,” an odor-insulated comforter shielding and absorbing unpleasant body aromas from your bedfellow.
Slyly ventilating that SPD is a thing of the past, so extend your bliss with your spouse, significant other, or one-night-stand tonight!
Totable Anti-Theft Scarecrow
Would you do anything to avoid the awkwardness of asking strangers at the coffee shop to watch your laptop while you answer nature’s call? Don’t fret—the packable scarecrow is here. This invention transforms from a fashionable tote bag into a life-size doll, ready to guard your valuables, no questions asked.
With a couple puffs into the air nozzle, your bag transforms into a believable human dummy, which you can tuck into position over your precious computer and ward away any café crooks.
Answer below to see how other Onion readers guessed. Then advance to the next slide to reveal the answer.
https://strawpoll.com/embed/YVyPm1Wp2nN
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