Fat-Dissolving Soap vs. Mood Ring Cat Collar
Fat-Dissolving Soap
Why count your calories and sweat away tirelessly at the gym to trim down, when you could simply scrub the fat away? A thrush of soaps hit the market around the 1920s—all promising to melt away fatty tissue in any “undesirable” area of the body. From “large hips” to “ungainly ankles,” all one needed was to lather up a cake of Reducing Soap, with its patented formula of potassium iodide and sassafras.
Mood Ring Cat Collar
A simple meow or flick of a tail contains multitudes, as any cat lover will tell you. But beyond that, that sassy canine can’t fully express what she’s thinking in human terms. But what if she could? Introducing the Mood Ring Cat Collar, which changes hues to indicate your cat’s feelings, from “mischief mood” to “judging you” to “slow-blink bliss.” Connected to a proprietary app, it also tracks your cat’s sleeping, eating, and litter-boxing cycles. Instead of wondering whether Mittens is staring at you with contempt or contentedness from his cactus-themed scratching posts nest, you’ll finally know for sure. Greater peace of mind for a cat owner doesn’t exist.Answer below to see how other Onion readers guessed. Then advance to the next slide to reveal the answer.
https://strawpoll.com/embed/XOgONr1V4n3
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