Brian Kemp Pushes Against Coronavirus Restrictions By Moving All Government Business To Packed Indoor Pool

ATLANTA—Further escalating tensions with the mayors of his state, Georgia governor Brian Kemp reportedly pushed against calls for more coronavirus restrictions Wednesday by moving all government business to a packed indoor pool. “In order to fight the gross government overreach of these so-called protective measures, we will be holding all budget, infrastructure, and judiciary meetings in a 25-meter indoor pool that’s absolutely crammed with swimmers,” said Kemp who addressed the press while treading water, adding that there will be a total ban on masks and reporters would only be allowed to ask questions if they hopped into the pool. “By conducting our affairs in an aquatic recreation area with a lack of social distancing measures and poor ventilation, we want to show that we stand with all the Georgians out there who refuse to let the government dictate their lives. All breakout sessions will be held in the shallow end while floor votes will be taking place in lanes 1 through 4, and as for refreshments, there will be a floating beverage station with a communal glass of water for everyone to drink out of.” At press time, Kemp demanded everyone stay in the water after Lt. Gov. Geoff Duncan urinated in the pool.