Birth control is used by over half of women in the U.S., yet there are many misconceptions surrounding it. The Onion looks at common myths and facts of birth control.
MYTH
The morning-after pill is like an abortion.
FACT
You don’t typically walk out of Planned Parenthood with a candy bar, AAA batteries, and a pack of cigarettes after an abortion.
MYTH
Birth control should be taken at the same time every day.
FACT
Oh, whoops. Just take two now, it’s probably fine.
MYTH
Condoms make sex less pleasurable.
FACT
Screaming three-month-olds make sex less pleasurable.
MYTH
Cindy Kaloski took birth control, and she’s dead now.
FACT
Well, yeah, but that’s because she got hit by a car.
MYTH
Older people don’t need birth control.
FACT
Alec Baldwin has had six children in the past seven years.
MYTH
Fertility can be permanently damaged by using birth control.
FACT
It may take a few months for a cycle to return to normal, but there are no other birth control-related impediments to a woman wishing to ruin her life with children.
MYTH
Hormonal birth control pills can help treat acne.
FACT
That’s a great excuse for telling your mom why you need the pill.
MYTH
Birth control is 100% effective.
FACT
It’s a boy!
