Biden Claps In Amazement After FBI Agent Pulls Classified Document From Behind His Ear

WASHINGTON—Cheering for the incredible sleight-of-hand on display, President Joe Biden reportedly clapped in amazement Tuesday after an FBI agent pulled a document marked “top secret” from behind his ear. “Whoa-ho-ho! How the heck did you do that, man?” said the commander-in-chief, who appeared to beam with delight as the agent pretended to sneeze a federal warrant out of his left nostril, allowing him to search Biden for multiple violations of the Presidential Records Act. “I’m serious! I’ve got no idea how you made it look so real! Christ, I wasn’t expecting anything like that in a million years. C’mon, let me see it again!” At press time, sources confirmed the federal officer had responded to the president’s calls for an encore by pulling a pair of handcuffs from his sleeve.