Beloved Father And Infrequent Pornography User Loses 3-Year Battle With Cancer

ROCHESTER, NY—After losing a three-year battle with prostate cancer during which he only sporadically masturbated to prurient images, beloved father and infrequent pornography user Larry Gates passed away Monday, surrounded by his loving family in the home where he kept one or two old Playboys which, when in better health, he would take out from the bottom of a desk drawer and beat off to every so often. A true leader in business, an eight-year member of the Rochester Park School Board, and a devoted family man who browsed the “co-ed,” “amateur,” and “busty” categories every six months or so, Gates leaves behind his adoring sons William, 22, and Henry, 18; daughters Megan, 20, and Sidney, 14; PornHub link “Busty Amateur Co-ed Squirts Everywhere,” bookmarked last November; and his wife of 27 years, Elizabeth Marie. Those close to the sporadic X-rated movie downloader knew him as a company man who spent 17 years as an accountant at the Bonadio Group and four hours last year looking at POV blowjob GIFs, a devoted church-going member of his community, and an avid fan of both the New York Mets and of occasionally pleasuring himself to still images of interracial threesomes. Gates was 53, but discovered pornography at 13.