Bear’s Favorite Part Of Mauling Campers When They Throw Arms In Air To Look Bigger

NYE, MT—Tickled by the group’s resolve, local grizzly bear Osguf confirmed Monday that his favorite part of mauling campers was when they threw their arms in the air to look bigger. “The whole thing is a blast from start to finish, don’t get me wrong, but I have a soft spot for when they start frantically waving their little arms around,” said the bear, who released a roar of delight as the family of five he had stumbled across jumped to their feet and began slowly backing away with their arms stuck straight into the air. “Sometimes they even bang pots and pans while doing it, and that’s a hoot, too. Do they seriously think I’m going to be afraid of some metallic clanking? I don’t know if it’s instinct or what, but I can’t get enough of it. Ah, look, now they’re picking up their children. You have to wonder what’s going on in their tiny heads.” At press time, the grizzly had fled the site in terror after one of the campers shouted “Hey bear!”