Bag Of Potatoes Desperately Searching For Dirt

OWOSSO, MI–The potatoes in a 10-pound bag of Michigan Pride Russets were discovered in the throes of death Monday, sprouting roots from their eyes in a desperate, last-ditch attempt to prolong their lives with nutrient-rich soil. “I opened the bag to grab a few potatoes for dinner,” said Owosso resident Bobbi Silas, “when I saw these potatoes sprouting arms, frantically reaching for any kind of nutrition available.” Silas called the experience “creepy.”