Backwoods Dietitians Recommend Squirrel As Essential Part Of Good Eatin’

PAW PAW, WV—Claiming the rodent meat was plumb key for fillin’ you up, backwoods dietitians recommended squirrel Wednesday as an essential part of good eatin’. “Accordin’ to what I had done seen, if you wantin’ something dang tasty, it’s absolutely needful that you get you a dagum squirrel,” said self-taught dietitian Elrod Hamrick, explaining that squirrel was the only rodent that had an entire day’s worth of essential vittles. “If you wantin’ to grow big and strong like Papaw, you gotta have three servin’s a day, I reckon. A-course, you gotta balance your squirrel-eatin’ with some chaw and hooch to be gettin’ your proper nourishment.” At press time, Hamrick emphasized not to pick the buckshot out, as it was an excellent source of fiber.