Avant-Garde DJ Really Gets The Dance Floor Thinking

MIAMI—A crowded nightclub reportedly erupted into contemplation Friday after an avant-garde DJ really got the entire dance floor thinking. “When that crazy-ass meditative soundscape dropped, everybody on the floor just started ruminating like wild,” said nightclub patron Lydia Wallace, adding that she and her friends had lined up outside the nightclub several hours before it opened to ensure they wouldn’t miss pondering the deconstructive yet citational nature of DJ [ // &&& // ]’s sounds. “I immediately started having all these associations—it was so fucking profound, you know? God, I love coming out to the club and just standing for hours while I question my presuppositions. I was reflecting on the nature of being, of music, of art. And it felt so good to be surrounded by that sweaty, pensive crowd all pondering as one body. Man, I am mulling like crazy.” At press time, witnesses confirmed the crowd had gone absolutely introspective when the avant-garde DJ yelled for everyone to put their hands on their chins to think.