Astros Caught Politely Asking Catcher For Little Heads-Up On Pitch Selection

SEATTLE—In a shocking revelation that carries grim echoes of the team’s sign stealing in the 2017 and 2018 seasons, multiple players on the Houston Astros were caught Saturday politely asking the Seattle Mariners’ catcher for a little heads-up on the pitch selection. “Hey, man, if you wouldn’t mind letting me know whether he’s going to throw a fastball or curveball, I’d really appreciate it,” Astros second baseman Jose Altuve was heard to utter to Mariners catcher Cal Raleigh in audio provided by a whistleblowing T-Mobile Park staff member. The release of audio conclusively exposing the Astros’ asking-nicely program comes on the heels of several prior allegations made by opposing teams that they’d heard the Astros asking catchers to at least tell them where in the strike zone the pitch was going to be. Anonymous MLB sources have claimed the scandal encompasses multiple Astros staff members, including bench coach Joe Espada, who was seen giving signs to hitters reminding them to say “please.” At press time, an MLB investigation revealed that multiple Astros players had also attempted to unfairly influence the game’s outcome by respectfully informing the first base umpire that it would mean the world to them if he called them safe.