SAN FRANCISCO—Despite having no access to personal entertainment technology or media stimulation of any kind, 33-year-old Jeff Vali somehow withstood his entire harrowing 30-minute train commute Friday. “I wasn’t scared at first, but I started freaking out when I fully realized what was happening,” said a stunned Vali, who told reporters he had dashed out the door and left his iPod on the counter. “I still had my Kindle, but it went dead last week and I forgot to charge it. I tried to keep calm by reading the newspaper of the guy standing next to me, but I couldn’t get close enough to make out more than one or two big headlines. Even the ads on the train were all boring community college stuff. Eventually I realized I was going to be trapped with nothing but my thoughts for the next half-hour. It was horrifying.” Vali told reporters he managed to survive his ordeal by humming “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” and sifting through the contents of his wallet.
Area Man Somehow Endures Harrowing Entertainment-Free Commute
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