Area Man Always Ready To Comment On Song’s Bridge

AKRON, OH—Shushing everyone as a passage linking two sections of the song began, area man Brandon Debner reportedly revealed Wednesday that he was always ready to comment on a song’s bridge. “Oh man, you’re gonna lose your mind when this bridge hits,” said Debner, playing air guitar as he explained in extreme detail how the chord progression, a time signature change, and the band’s history culminated to make the song’s eight transitional measures so incredible. “It just ties everything together. Like, I wish I could live on this bridge, it’s so perfect. It’s actually a play on a Chuck Berry bridge, who was one of the most innovative musicians, bridge-wise.” At press time, sources confirmed Debner’s friends had let out a sigh as he turned his attention to passionately explaining the genius of the song’s hook.