Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) has announced that she will seek a 20th congressional term in her district in San Francisco. The Onion asked Americans what they thought about the 83-year-old running for reelection, and this is what they said.
Erin Poppy, Teacher
“Wow, I hope I’m still desperately clinging to power at that age.”
Nate Fournier, Bartender
“As long as she still can do a pretty terrible job, why shouldn’t she?”
Saif Quraishi, Physician
“Pelosi is clearly mentally fit enough to continue profiting from her position in office.”
Paul Pelosi, Businessman
“Hold on while I get my broker on the line.”
Chris Kim, Web Developer
“Great! My family has been voting for Nancy Pelosi for five generations.”
Daniel Wasierski, Ironworker
“Good. She still has some of her best legislative deadlocks ahead of her.”
Sen.
“Too green. She should run again in 20 years.”
Tom Gillette, Banker
“Isn’t it time she stepped aside in favor of fresh-faced up-and-comers like Maxine Waters?”
Gina Towers, Civics Teacher
“She’s a great example for my students on how our nation’s support systems have failed the elderly.”
Inez Schaffer, Caterer
“She had my vote the second she clapped weird at Trump that one time. Devastating.”
Maria Ortez, Philologist
“To one day drop dead at their place of work, surrounded by people they hate, is all any American could hope for.”
Casey Peterson, Lawyer
“Someone has to make the point that women should be allowed to die of old age in office just like men.”
Christian Jacobs, Mechanic
“I’d want an excuse to get out of the house too if people were coming there to kill me.”
Dan Pepper, Gym Teacher
“That’s really surprising. Most politicians figure out a better grift at this point in their careers.”
Todd Richardson, Personal Trainer
“I sure as hell won’t be voting for her, but then again, I live in Maine.”
Alonzo Ramirez, Dentist
“Well, would you want that woman ruining canasta night at your condo?”
Mark Denman, Teacher
“It would be ageist not to let senile, self-serving bureaucrats destroy our democracy from the inside.”
Brandon Jarvis, Unemployed
“My dream of smearing feces on her office walls lives on.”
