After a second incident in which the Kentucky senator froze up during a press conference, The Onion asked Americans to explain why Mitch McConnell should step down, and this is what they said.
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/d506bdddbf1bb24f7facf2471af12157.jpg)
Dana Boone, Radiologist
“You really shouldn’t be exposed to sunlight if you’re 85% goo or more.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/cd41b6f5bc674a15681bec76a748166c.png)
Harrison Newburn, Dermatologist
“It’s time his family members stepped in and placed him in a lobbying firm.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/0cbc24154b2dbbcc000675a393924282.jpg)
Jerry Vito, Butcher
“He’s already at that meat-falling-off-the-bone stage.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/13b7ec35fcf0ed746918474ebbf7f50a.jpg)
Alice Schenk, Doctor
“As a physician specializing in geriatric medicine, I can say it is clear from the video that he is old as shit.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/cf2f2478ee3349819cd57c917873f0cc.jpg)
Derek Chambers, Bird Enthusiast
“We need lawmakers who approach policy with a fresher, more youthful view of white supremacy.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/42b3c749451177bceec4eb80f4fb6e04.jpg)
Parker Olmstead, Pet Sitter
“I’m delusional enough to think we can get a Democrat elected in his place.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/432af09ffae5b3d2a24364f076ed93ca.jpg)
Bailey Vance, Aesthetician
“I think we can all agree there should be term limits for politicians we don’t like.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/cae0e6501a5916afcf2330a43eddc043.jpg)
Benjamin Lawrence, Judge
“I’m really into the idea of retirement being the beginning of something amazing! Mitch still has 40 or 50 years to devote to becoming an amazing figure skater or watercolor artist.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/4030ae5544ae0ca281f4b53b65dd45e2.jpg)
Lana Cleek, Sales Manager
“I think we should set the age limit for any politician at 12.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/499873bb13b79782a4cc8581362a2f9b.png)
Marisol Lopez, Realtor
“We specifically set up our society to guarantee that our nation’s elderly would wither away into nothingness out of sight of the rest of us.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/5a9876944bf8357a6ebbc38a65ddc902.jpg)
Mitch McConnell, U.S. Senator
“…”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/120333ff29252fed2d644dc576e92ad5.jpg)
Roberta Hill, Mechanical Engineer
“His mental infirmities are slightly weirder and more difficult to get my head around than those of our other major political leaders.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/aacf5beedd055fe1fdd9e05a13e69f1f.jpg)
Katherine Avila, Graphic Designer
“I know if that were my elderly father up there, I’d want him beheaded for the evil he’s inflicted upon America.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/696e273d29b4db15137629ac54902f5f.jpg)
Ignacio Wilson, IT Developer
“The daily work of stigmatizing trans kids and forcing women to give birth takes incredible concentration, and I just think Mitch is getting too old to do that.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/4e1a1511b89df4b1b40f61f8cacda30d.png)
Joe Cousins, Bond Trader
“I’d like to be able to look at my senator without vomiting.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/49b38e37e4c1c32f117e3816ee91a486.jpg)
Elaine Hampton, Pharmacist
“I’m sure he’s still got a lot of slurs left to say on his bucket list.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/e20afde6f5e0bf1d11a517e06492be72.jpg)
Elaine Chao, Wife
“I require pleasuring at home.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/753bf6ced8784b5696ace267546a7c07.jpg)
George Eng, Phlebotomist
“We the living cannot allow ourselves to be ruled by the dead.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/462790d0772e7c466a3426fa17ccbb87.jpg)
Patricia Farnsworth, Maître D’
“He deserves some time to relax before spending eternity in hell.”