Following an attack in which Hamas killed more than 1,200 Israelis and took an estimated 199 hostage, Israel has retaliated by killing thousands of Palestinians; cutting off water, fuel, and electricity; and ordering over 1.1 million citizens to evacuate from North Gaza. Amid the violence, death, and countless violations of the Geneva conventions, The Onion asked Americans how they are ignoring the conflict between Israel and Hamas, and this is what they said.
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/8c484506085fbe367555d5a5187c38ee.png)
Toni Spalding, Retired
“I ignored the Vietnam War, so this should be easy.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/c3f50ad757f572c2d6ae096634b111ac.jpg)
Arthur Emilio, Electrician
“I’m pretty busy harassing mosques.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/85871163bd49264f007a7049e8af0c13.png)
Bob Harlow, Locksmith
“How can I possibly be expected to think about ethnic cleansing in the Middle East when we’ve got ethnic cleansing to do right here in America!”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/b00b357a44a5477e47dc60e5cc87a2a2.jpg)
Ryan Cooper, Bartender
“Oh, I have decades of practice.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/bb62f3bdff4f550ce683d10404e5fca5.jpg)
Jeanne Cavaleri, Radiologist
“Ignore? I made a post about how it’s a very complicated issue, so I think I’ve earned the right to check out completely.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/a8b8d54469e755e7c4ee358148c362d8.jpg)
Mariah Ramirez, Lab Technician
“I guess I haven’t heard a compelling argument as to why I should care about human life.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/09ff59c4c24fa711af1a3c97082298bd.jpg)
Nathan Walls, Landscaper
“Anytime I see something about it on social media or the news, my translucent third eyelids extend over my irises and obscure both imagery and text.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/5fd5ce0ef81c96200039fc51f3bffa93.jpg)
Rachel Gibbons, Doctor
“Wait, I thought the Russian-Ukrainian War was the one I was supposed to be ignoring.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/1bc3eab05122e2386ade694fc543a049.png)
Ron Madison, Accountant
“I only look at pre-1947 world maps.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/e3334a31b7344e9c3dab94035901aac2.png)
Mark Cohen, Meteorologist
“I try to maintain a prejudice with the belief neither Israel or Palestine should exist.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/0cef2f6e8b2506f6c02aac82c5617b2e.jpg)
Randy Turner, Audio Engineer
“I’ve been trying a hybrid approach where I ignore it but also somehow argue about it online a bunch.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/e686096a465a889d438dee611fc1755f.jpg)
Nicole Flores, Cashier
“I’m focusing all my hate on trans people for now.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/fbac972d185ff118b7d75adf1577f3d9.png)
Stephanie Jackson, Bank Teller
“I only watch old episodes of the news.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/f64d83a7fca61cec351a72314eb81d26.png)
Daniel Reed, Podcast Host
“Every time I think about commenting, I ask myself what would Jesus do and then continue to pretend like it isn’t happening.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/ab395a143ecde973022a8a28c6ba0263.png)
Monica Desplat, Graphic Designer
“Now that America’s celebrities have all weighed in, we can finally move on.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/563975b793c12ba08aca41670eb6a4a9.png)
Bill Johnson, Software Engineer
“With the holidays coming up, I can’t risk forming an opinion around family.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/8dd4d722ea8378f819002932f94a303d.jpg)
Anthony Trevino, Zookeeper
“I’m busy preparing for the upcoming War on Christmas.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/96291beac80baa83a01a521e51072714.jpg)
Hannah Dominguez, Teacher
“I’ve already decided which races deserve basic human rights.”