‘Ah, Pissing, I Love To Piss,’ Says Ron DeSantis Attempting To Strike Up Conversation With Voter

DES MOINES, IA— Hoping to initiate a casual chat with an average citizen during his campaign stop at the Iowa State Fair, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) reportedly said, “Ah, pissing, I love to piss,” this week when attempting to strike up a conversation with a voter. “Boy, do I just adore pissing. What a great way to use my penis,” said DeSantis, moments after seeing a stranger was in the men’s restroom, before unzipping his fly much too early as he walked up to a urinal. “Don’t you love to piss, also? I do it multiple times a day. If I drink a lot of water that day it’s pretty clear, but if I haven’t, it will be more yellow. Sometimes I like to call it tinkling, but there’s nothing more American than a good, hearty piss.” At press time, DeSantis also professed his love for shitting.