Affable Detective With Healthy Personal Life Hasn’t Solved Case In Months

SHOW LOW, AZ—Describing him as a family man who always has a smile on his face, sources within the Show Low Police Department confirmed that Dominic Pierce, an affable detective with a rich personal life, hasn’t solved a case in months. According precinct records, Pierce, who promptly leaves work at 6 p.m. each night to have dinner with his wife of 20 years and two daughters, has not brought a single criminal to justice since last fall. Despite the towering stack of unsolved murder, rape, and armed robbery cases piled on his desk, fellow officers told reporters that they respected Pierce for “not hitting the bottle too much” and “never once having a chip on his shoulder.” Precinct sources went on to say that while a detective with the number of cold cases Pierce has racked up should almost certainly be fired, they all agreed they’d hate to lose a great guy like that.