News Porn Searches, ‘Rizz,’ And Flaming Yule Burritos: This Week In Breaking News December 16, 2023 Published: December 16, 2023 Most Common Porn Searches On ChristmasAlabama Middle Schooler Jailed After Taking Basketball Back Out From Under Her ShirtBoomers Try To Define The Word ‘Rizz’Toyota Reveals That Any Babies Conceived In Backseats Of Their Cars Belong To Them NowNation’s Leathery Old Men With Veneers Announce Plan To See You In CourtTaco Bell Announces Flaming Yule Burrito For ChristmasCalifornia Prospectors Rush To Midwest To Pan For WaterFondest High School Memories Predominantly Destruction Of PropertyGone To The Great Convention Hall In The Sky: The Onion Remembers E3 Advertising Elon Musk’s Mom Defends Son On X Continued on next page Related Coverage Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson: ‘We All Have Crazy Ideas About Slavery When We’re Horny’ Hellspawn Annoyed By Sound Of Earth’s Residents Stomping Around Overhead Mother Earth Insists She Doesn’t Want Any Pagan Sacrifices This Equinox