In the wake of America’s surprise ouster from the Women’s World Cup, conservatives have reacted with scorn for the U.S. Soccer Team. Here are some of their strongest responses to the loss.
Patrick Flannery, Statistician
“Women should be at home with the children while their husbands compete on the U.S. national women’s team.”
Christian Porter, Electrician
“Leave it to women to lose a sport that I refuse to watch.”
Joseph Knight, Welder
“I’m rooting for Morocco anyway.”
Karl Franklin, Public Speaking Coach
“The U.S. women’s soccer team would have won if it were made up entirely of obedient, pregnant tradwives.”
Joseph Pham, City Planner
“Abe Lincoln had blue hair, too, and that’s why he got shot in the head.”
Lisa McLeod, Hairstylist
“These women think it’s okay to be running around kicking soccer balls when they should be in the home raising their soccer balls.”
Bruno Studs, Rancher
“I’m torn. I love America, but I hate women.”
Hillary Clinton, Former U.S. Secretary of State
“This never would have happened if I were president.”
Michael Dehr, Sales Consultant
“The most American team was Japan anyways.”
Tyrese Cambridge, Podcaster
“See, those women wouldn’t have lost if they hadn’t been too proud to put a man on defense.”
Marcia Campbell, Homemaker
“That’s what they get for wearing shorts instead of bloomers.”
Gregory Dunn, Delivery Driver
“I don’t want my daughter looking up to these women and thinking that one day she can do commercials for Chase mobile banking.”
Kris Webster, Business Analyst
“It’s a sign that these women should spend less time on frivolous sports and more time trying to win the right to vote.”
Gino Lucce, Line Cook
“They still could have taken off their tops and swung them around in a sad way.”
Nate Evers, IRS Agent
“Not surprised that women were too stupid to pick the ball up with their hands.”
Thomas Nishank, Investor
“It’s not personal. I cheer for all women’s losses.”
Gordon Schultz, Retired
“This is all Coach Biden’s fault.”
Dennis Welton, Tutor
“No problem. I’ll send them death threats just the same.”
Leigh Iaboni, CNA
“That’s what they get for having woke, radical views like Coca-Cola is the official partner of U.S. soccer.”
Teddy Saunders, Welder
“If it’s got a woman in it, I don’t want to watch it. Sports, porn, nothing.”
Donald Bettis, Professor
“If there’s one stereotype that’s true, it’s that lesbians are bad at sports.”