SAN FRANCISCO—Emphasizing that the product was simple to use and incredibly easy to order through their mobile app, telehealth brand Hims announced Thursday that it would begin offering a new dunce cap for men who can’t get hard. “Starting today, all Hims customers can log on and, at the click of a button, have one of our patented dunce caps for limp-dicked men sent right to their door,” said CEO Andrew Dudum, adding that it had never been easier for men with erectile dysfunction to be sent to a corner, sat down on a wooden stool, and laughed at by their partners while their penis lay there, flaccid and useless. “With Hims, men can be paired with a doctor and, within minutes, be publicly shamed for being a big fat ugly dope who can’t ever seem to get it up. Also, make sure to check out our other options for men with ED, including a clown nose, a slide whistle, and a large chalkboard where men can write ‘I can’t get hard’ hundreds and hundreds of times.” Dudum added that Hims had also allowed men to connect with a stern headmistress who would paddle their ass after their partner broke up with them for never once bringing them to orgasm.
Hims Offers New Dunce Cap For Men Who Can’t Get Hard
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