CHICAGO—In a full-blown panic just moments after realizing he had ejaculated inside of his girlfriend, local man Braden Twigg reportedly rushed to CVS Thursday to also impregnate the pharmacist. “Don’t worry, I’m running out to the store right now,” said Twigg, assuring his partner he would be right back as he stumbled out the front door of his apartment half-dressed and hurried to get to the pharmacy as quickly as possible so that he could spread his seed far and wide. “It was super reckless of me not to wear a condom or anything, and now it’s time for me to be super reckless behind the pharmacy counter. Oh shit, they’re closing in five minutes. I hope that’s enough time. Go, go, go, go!” At press time, reports confirmed Twigg was devastated after the pharmacist told him the cost would be $50.
Man Who Didn’t Pull Out Rushes To CVS To Also Impregnate Pharmacist
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