Heroic Investigator Comments ‘What Happened?’ On Facebook Death Announcement

MONROEVILLE, AL—Opening a probe into the cause of death of the stranger who had appeared upon his news feed, local heroic investigator Matthew Mallery reportedly commented “What happened?” Wednesday on an in memoriam Facebook post. “While most Facebook friends toed the polite line of ‘So sorry for your loss’ or ‘Praying for you,’ Matthew dove headfirst into the comments with the dogged determination of a man willing to go to any depths to solve the case, no matter the personal cost,” said a source who viewed the thread, noting that the 31-year-old Internet commenter’s selflessness and bravery was only magnified by the fact that he did not know the deceased and barely knew the poster. “There’s not much to go off of, just a couple old photos and the caption ‘RIP to my best friend, you were so loved and I’ll never forget you,’ but I’m confident with someone as sharp and tenacious as Matthew on the case, the truth will come out in no time. The community is rooting for you, Matthew. We know you can do it.” At press time, Mallery was said to have discovered the cause of death was suicide, and to have declared the case closed with a “That’s crazy.”