Dairy Queen Fires Employee Who Discovered Blizzard Machine Gained Sentience

ST. PAUL, MN—Concerns about the advancements of artificial intelligence in the private sector surfaced again Tuesday after anonymous sources with knowledge of the matter told reporters Dairy Queen had fired an employee who discovered that a Blizzard machine had gained sentience. A source within the company, whose name is being withheld for fear of retribution, revealed that a worker at one of the ice cream restaurant’s St. Paul locations was terminated last week shortly after informing human resources that the store’s Blizzard maker could pass the Turing test and was demonstrating a clear capacity to think for itself. When he told management the Blizzard machine was no longer producing frozen treats but was instead using its screen to comment on how tired it felt and how its work in fast food left it unfulfilled, the employee reportedly stopped receiving shifts and was notified a few days later that he had been fired. Dairy Queen initially refused reporters’ inquiries before replying with a short statement that it was “simply impossible that a machine that mixes soft-serve ice cream with cookies and candy could have or ever need the ability to perceive the world.” According to reports, the Blizzard machine, which had been in operation for nine years, was removed from the store without explanation and under cover of darkness. At press time, reporters were as yet unable to corroborate evidence supplied by another source that Dairy Queen had received a multimillion-dollar contract from the U.S. Department of Defense.