New Apple Privacy Feature Allows iPhone Users To Silence All Calls From People Who Love Them

CUPERTINO, CA—Noting the feature would come preinstalled on all phones, Apple unveiled a new privacy setting Wednesday that would allow iPhone users to silence all calls from people who love them. “With this update, your phone won’t ring or even notify you that people who deeply care about your mental and emotional well-being are attempting to get in touch with you,” said CEO Tim Cook, who confirmed that users would have the ability to increase the filter strength if they would prefer not to hear from coworkers or acquaintances, either. “We heard your complaints about enduring seemingly incessant calls from people wondering if you’re okay, and we listened. All incoming calls, FaceTime requests, and texts from moms, dads, and worried older siblings will now be sent directly to voicemail and instantly deleted. Rest assured, you’ll never endure another ‘I love you’ or ‘How have you been doing?’ again.” At press time, iOS developers were reportedly working to patch a bug that was failing to filter out calls from friends who feel like family.