Goldendoodle Not Good With People Who Earn Less Than 6 Figures

SAN JOSE, CA—As he apologized for the loudly barking dog that he swore wasn’t like this with people in higher income brackets, local pet owner David Muskin told a man he encountered on a walk Tuesday that his goldendoodle wasn’t good with anyone who earns less than six figures. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry—he must smell that your net worth is below $250,000,” said Muskin, explaining that the breed of dog simply did not have a good track record with middle-income or working-class people. “Are you by any chance from a lower socioeconomic background? He may calm down if you show him a few account statements with decent balances. I swear it isn’t you, it’s your salary.” At press time, Muskin had reportedly scolded the goldendoodle for biting a pedestrian who was living from paycheck to paycheck.