8-And-A-Half-Month-Old Fetus Could Really Get Used To This

FLAGSTAFF, AZ—Expressing his enjoyment at getting to just kick back and relax, a local 8-and-a-half-month-old fetus confirmed Monday that he could really get used to this. “Man, I gotta tell you, this is the life,” said the 37-week fetus, adding that between the warm and cozy environment, a perfect resting place on the cervix, and a steady supply of amniotic fluid, there was nowhere else he would rather be. “I’m snug as a bug in a rug here, but I’ve still got enough room to turn a full 180 degrees. Plus there’s this super fun umbilical cord I can play with or wear as a necklace. I honestly might just hang out here forever.” At press time, the fetus admitted things had been a little less exciting since he finished absorbing his twin.