Nation’s Mothers Demand To Know Where You Heard That Word

WASHINGTON—Glowering into the cameras and turning beet red as they scowled, the nation’s mothers held a press conference Thursday demanding to know where you heard that word. “Get over here, mister—get over here now,” said 38-year-old Deandra O’Neill of Austin, TX who was just one of millions of mothers from small towns and big cities nationwide who converged on the U.S. Capitol in order to get to the bottom of where you learned to talk like that right this instant. “What did I just hear you say? Too scared to repeat it in front of me now, huh? Did that Brian say it? Did you learn that from one of your classmates? Maybe at Cameron’s place? Well, we don’t speak like that in this house. Oh no, we don’t.” At press time, widespread panic had broken out across the country after the nation’s mothers declared there would be no more video games.