Josh Hawley Slams Video Games As Threat To American Masculinity After Bullshit Sniper Ends His ‘Battlefield’ Killstreak

ORLANDO—Attacking the “idleness,” that leads men to just hide up in an attic on the Provence map, Missouri Sen. Josh Hawley slammed video games Monday as a threat to masculinity after a “bullshit sniper,” ended his killstreak in Battlefield V. “It’s painful for American men to know that you can be right about to score a fifth kill defending the church courtyard, and then out of nowhere some asshole picks you off with no way to fight back. What does this say to the current generation?” said Hawley, who decried the relentless assault on traditional male values by losers who just camp out waiting for a Sherman Tank to spawn instead of serving their families and communities by rolling as a medic. “Many men like myself are victims of these sorts of complete bullshit shots and we need to do more to help them face this kind of emasculating culture that encourages just hiding and running up your own score. I don’t know if they were using an illegal mod or what, but this is just more proof that masculinity is clearly under attack in this country.” Hawley concluded his speech by condemning “woke capital,” for hiding all the best weapon skins behind a paywall.