Report: What You Did Back There Took Guts

COLLEGE PARK, MD—After studying what went down and analyzing every potential outcome, a report released Monday by researchers at the University of Maryland found that what you did back there took guts. “One thing’s for sure: You’ve got moxie in spades,” the report read in part, adding that it couldn’t have been easy, but you saw it through, and that’s what matters. “We saw what you did back there, and we’re impressed. That took real nerve, if you don’t mind us saying so. So don’t go selling yourself short, because not everyone would have done that in your situation. You saw what needed to be done and you stepped up to the plate. Good on ya, kid.” The researchers’ findings reportedly contradicted a previous Tufts University study stating that you didn’t have the stones.