Power-Hungry Goose Seizes Control Of Audubon Society In Bloody Coup

NEW YORK—In a stunning turn of events likely to forever alter the organization’s makeup, a power-hungry goose seized control of the Audubon Society in a bloody coup Wednesday, sources monitoring the situation confirmed. “What began as a typical Audubon Society executive meeting came to a sudden halt after a particularly aggressive goose waddled through the door, beat every senior employee present into submission with its wings, and pecked the interim president into exile,” said United Nations observer Karen Sullivan, explaining that the domestic goose immediately seized on the confusion to usher in its own tyrannical leadership forged in feathers and bloodshed. “Most interns have been taken captive by dozens of violent gosling that flew in through an open window. They’re hoarding bread from the kitchenette, as well, which I’m sure will help shore up the new leadership’s popularity. It’s unclear what this goose wants, but it absolutely intends to send the terrifying message that there’s a new leader at the Audubon Society and its name is goose.” At press time, the goose had taken over the Audubon board meeting and began loudly honking while spreading its wings in a dominant show of force.