Area Man Knows Nothing Good Ever Happens When Godzilla, King Kong Find Themselves In Same Movie

LOS ANGELES—Calling the decision to reunite two super-powerful monsters a “recipe for disaster,” Los Angeles resident Patrick Underwood told reporters Monday that he knew nothing good ever happened when Godzilla and King Kong found themselves in the same movie. “I’m just saying, King Kong is a gigantic and destructive bloodthirsty gorilla, and Godzilla is a 984-foot-tall prehistoric sea monster—how in god’s name is this going to end well?” said Underwood, adding that the legendary beings had caused enough destruction to their respective cities while they were apart, so the last thing humanity needed was to do something stupid, like put them together. “Look, maybe one day King Kong and Godzilla could end up being friends, but right now, they seem to have some really bad blood. All I can hope for is that when they finally do meet, they aren’t in a crowded area where there are any humans or buildings around, and that Mothra, King Ghidora, and Rodan all stay away.” Underwood added that he assumed everyone learned their lesson after Batman v Superman, but apparently the harbinger just fell on deaf ears.