Badass Adult Education Student Spends Whole Vegetarian Cooking Class Mouthing Off

RALEIGH, NC—Disrupting the educational process with successive outbursts unburdened by either decorum or civility, badass adult-education student Colin Halverson spent the entirety of Tuesday evening’s Raleigh Extension Center vegetarian cooking class mouthing off. “That guy clearly didn’t give a shit about the $200 he spent to take this, let alone our time and effort,” said a vegetarian cooking classmate of the bad boy, who spoke on condition of anonymity to avoid verbal retribution, and who noted Halverson’s relentless mocking of the instructor’s clothes and pronunciation of “lasagna.” “I think, at one point, he actually threw Brussels sprouts at the teacher’s head. At first I was, like, what? Get him out of here. But really, it was pretty funny when he pretended that a zucchini was his dick. I hope he’s still in class next week so we can hang and drink more from that flask he snuck in here and make fun of the crocheting class across the hall.” Halverson is currently facing expulsion from the class for blasting Metallica’s “Master of Puppets” from his phone and lighting a cigarette while caramelizing onions.