BROOKLYN—Doomed to wander the Earth imprisoned by a complexion requiring both mattifying and hydrating products, sources confirmed Monday that wretched outcast of a woman Hattie Jean was forever trapped between the realms of the dry and the oily due to her accursed combination skin. “No matter where I go, whether high-end makeup counter or local drugstore, I’ll never be truly greasy enough or purely flakey enough to truly belong,” said the 31-year-old who was cursed by a tragic accident of birth to spend the rest of her unbalanced cutaneous life marooned between moisturizing and exfoliating. “When I walk the skin care aisle, women gawk at the dull glisten of my T-zone and the angry red splotches of my cheeks, and they shudder in disgust. ‘Begone, afflicted freak!’ they hiss, as if I chose a life of needing to simultaneously absorb and produce the very oil of my face. Those who live with a foot in both worlds have no place to truly call home.” At press time, Jean was asked to leave Sephora for upsetting the other customers.
Wretched Outcast Woman With Combination Skin Forever Trapped Between Dry And Oily Worlds
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