WHO Warns About Resurgence Of Guinea Worm Disease As 150-Ton Parasite Splashes Out Of Sea

GENEVA—In an effort to fight the persistent threat posed by the potentially fatal infection, the World Health Organization issued a warning Friday about the resurgence of Guinea worm disease after a 150-ton specimen of the Dracunculus medinensis species heaved itself out of the Atlantic Ocean. “We urge Guinea Coast residents and visitors to exercise extreme caution when drinking unfiltered water or when entering bodies of water with open sores,” the WHO statement read in part, clarifying that the parasite had been living underwater for thousands of years, feasting on shipwrecked sailors and gradually getting stronger until finally making landfall, crushing an entire village and devouring several villagers alive. “Unfortunately, despite our many efforts to combat the worm, it seems like it’s come back as a monstrous, megafauna version of itself. If you’re experiencing nausea, dizziness, or the earth trembling beneath your feet, please note that these are common symptoms. Families are especially susceptible as the worm will viciously burrow through each family member in sequence.” At press time, the Carter Center doubled down on its efforts to eradicate the disease as Center director and former President Jimmy Carter, 94, vowed to kill the worm with his bare hands.