New Report Finds Giants Just 5 Years Away From Acquiring Offensive Weapons

NEW YORK—Warning that they should no longer be viewed as a meek and harmless franchise, sources confirmed Monday that the New York Giants are likely to acquire powerful offensive weapons within the next five years. “The Giants may seem insignificant now, but if they are allowed to go unchecked, they could become one of the most dangerous teams in the league by 2022,” said NFL scout Todd Sandberg, adding the mounting evidence suggests the Giants have the technical skills and sources to eventually develop an explosive running back and could one day become a multi-dimensional threat. “They’re weak now, but ambitious, and we have every reason to believe they will not stop until taken seriously. Nobody really knows what they’re thinking and that is dangerous.” Sandberg emphasized that the quest to acquire offensive weapons could be accelerated by the team’s impending regime change.